Movie Reviews

I can’t imagine the last three movies I’ve watched being in any way memorable. Sometimes I wonder why I torture myself picking movies that I know are going to stink. Although, maybe I’m not being fair, one was entertaining, one was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be, and the third was better than its prequel.

The first movie was Doomsday. I went to see this movie for three reasons. One, I had absolutely nothing else to do. Two, I’ve always liked the word “doomsday.” And three, it is a British film. The film started out ripping off (or, as I’m sure the director would say, paying tribute to) 28 Weeks Later, where virus breaks out in Glasgow causing Scotland (and portions of Northern England) to be physically quarantined by a massive wall and the seas mined and patrolled. 20 years or so later and the movie shifts to taking liberty with Escape From New York and Aliens. It then manages to go with the trifecta: Mad Max, the Road Warrior, and Beyond Thunderdome. This formula is thus ripe for the making of a crappy movie. But, in the end, I was entertained. The film did what it was meant to do, be an over the top action flick taking points from some classics. Bob Hoskins was good, as usual. Rhona Mitra was in tight pants and tank-top throughout. And Malcolm McDowell’s nose was scary large. Movie purists and snobby reviewers will not like it. I, on the other hand, was amuzed.

Find me a movie based on a video game and I’ll show you a terrible film. Although Hitman was not terrible, it didn’t do anything to challenge my theory. Going in, my expectation was zero but I was sold on the previews (I like Timothy Olyphant and the previews showed what appeared to be a highly stylized film) so I watched anyway. But the movie was violent (a lot of blood splatters and such when people were shot) and the action sequences, the ones that go beyond reality, were not choreographed very well. Some plot holes and the “wait a minute, that doesn’t make sense” scenes. By the time the movie ended my thought was that it could have been better but for the video game genre, it was passable. Having no expectation of a good movie, it was a pleasant surprise, but that doesn’t mean I would recommend it.

Finally, I decided to torture myself with Resident Evil: Extinction. Why? Because I love zombie movies. Even though there’s a 95% chance it will be bad, I’m still drawn to them. This movie had nothing going for it: a movie based on a video game, the sequel to a horrendous movie, zombie movie percentages, and a lead who cannot act (but looks good not doing it). Although better than part 2, this was one was bad. For zombie movie fans only. Well, also for gamers. And those with prurient thoughts about Milla Jovovich. So, a lot of us.